


Beautiful

by SpicyRedPaladin



Series: Cegan One-Shots [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, One Shot, Self-Depretiation, Supportive Negan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11585010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyRedPaladin/pseuds/SpicyRedPaladin
Summary: There were some things Carl didn't understand. He didn't understand why there had to be an outbreak, or why the dead were walking. He didn't understand why he had to lose his mom, or why Negan had to be the totalitarian ruler he was.And he didn't understand beauty.





	Beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> This may also be the reason the Push Me to the Edge update was late... Don't be mad please lol

Having been ten when the outbreak began, there were many things that Carl didn't quite understand. Some things could be explained simply, like words. Other things took several people debating to explain. Carl had learned that if he wanted more difficult things explained, he had to corner someone. His most recent question had to be dealt with in this manner.

What is 'beautiful'?

The first person the teen had cornered was his dad. He'd heard him call his mom and Michonne beautiful. His dad had explained it like he was five. "Something so pretty it needs a new word." Next was Maggie. Glenn had called her beautiful very often. She said, "Beautiful is different for everyone, but mostly it's something that looks really nice." His third target was Father Gabriel. He talked about the Lord's beauty and the beauty of his mercy. He didn't ask anyone after his third answer. It cut straight to his heart.

"Beautiful is something or someone that is worthy of love and admiration."

Carl stayed in his room throwing darts for what felt like hours, trying to clear the answer from his mind. When that didn't work, he went to the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror. He took his bandage off. Worthy of love and admiration. He stared at the pit in his face, at the way the scar tissue stretched like ropes. He'd been called beautiful a few times, before Ron had shot him. Glenn called him beautiful one night in the prison. Daryl, too. Even his father had once, while hallucinating him to be his mother.

Carl quickly went back to his room, not bothering to put the bandages back on. He stayed there, throwing his darts like they were bullets. He heard the distant grinding of the gates opening. Negan and his men (and that lady Arat, but she probably had a dick too) must have been back. Even when his dad called for him, he didn't go down. He didn't want to see that prick. There was a knock at the door, and Carl threw a dart at it, the metal tip sticking into the wood. "Go away, I'm busy."

The door banged open and he winced, hearing that obnoxious laugh. "Damn, kid! Is that any way to treat Daddy Negan?" The man strode into the room, using his bat to close the door. He tsk'd at the sight of the dart embedded in the wooden slab. "How fuckin' rude. I came here to cheer you up and you throw a dart at the door. Am I gonna have to take your door away?"

The teen stared down at his feet, his head tilted so that his scar was covered. "No, sir." He decided it was best to say as little as possible without being insolent. But the man kept staring at him. He gulped as Negan walked closer, flinching when the barbed wire on his bat pricked Carl's chin. A simple command followed.

"Show it to me."

Carl took a deep breath, raising his head took look Negan in the eye. The man smirked. "Damn that shit's gross. Ain't no girl gonna want to snuggle up to a sorry fuckin' sight like that!" He saw barely a flicker of movement before a gloved hand caressed his cheek. "Badass, if I do say so myself. Hell, you could give head!" The teen grimaced at the crude joke, his cheeks flushing. "Lighten up, kid. It was a fuckin' joke." Negan turned away and twirled the bat. "Hell, not every damn day I get a beautiful sight like that."

The line sent Carl into a new reel of confusion. "Did you just say I'm beautiful?" He'd never been fully clothed when he was called beautiful before. Or disfigured, but that's obvious. Negan looked back, raising an eyebrow. "You think a little shit like you's worth being called beautiful? I'm talking about your scar."

Of course. Why had he thought otherwise? Like Father Gabriel had said, something beautiful deserved love. And Carl knew no one would love a useless, disfigured boy like him. Despite himself, hot tears began to fall from his good eye. He quickly tried to stomp down the emotions. Before he could wipe away his tears, strong hands were gripping his shoulders.

"Hey, hey. Don't you dare start crying like I dumped you at the fuckin' prom. Fuck... You know what, screw it. You're a beautiful badass, Carl Grimes, with a damn fuckin' awesome scar, even if it messes with you. You're so fuckin' beautiful that I'd screw you seven ways to Sunday on your daddy's bed! Put you in a damn dress and you'd be hotter than my super-hot wife. You're a delicate wonderful little butterfly who kicks major ass. You fuckin' hear me?"

Carl had stopped crying by the end, staring up at Negan in disbelief. "What.. did you just say?" His face was a bright red, his heart beating like a drum. Negan sighed. "Fuckin' hell.. I said you're a goddamn treasure, Carl. A little ruby or diamond or some shit. You're beautiful and badass." The teen nodded. "I understand that part... But.. you said you want to.. 'screw me' on my dad's bed..?"

Negan scowled, straightening up and looking away. His face was red too. "Yeah.. So fuckin' what? Don't let it go to your head.." The man turned away and picked his back up from where he had dropped it. "Now you stop that self-pity bull-shit, y'hear? I don't wanna see you gettin' upset like that ever again. Anyone but me makes you cry, kick their ass. Then tell me and I'll kick their ass too." He left, shutting the door hard enough that the dart fell out.

Once the trucks were loaded and Negan had dicked around for a suitably sufficient length of time, the Saviors left. Carl watched from his window, still confused. He was however, fairly pleased. The man who could end all of them had called him beautiful. Negan had told him not to let it go to his head, but he couldn't help it. He drifted through the rest of his tasks that day until dark, when everyone filtered into their assigned houses. When bedtime came, he floated into his dreams, a smile on his face.

And for the first time since the outbreak, he had a pleasant dream of strong hands holding him against a firm chest and whispering how beautiful and worthy of love he was.


End file.
